I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay.
I didn't set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I'm happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn't the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, "I'm different." If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I'm raising my hand.
My journey of self-discovery and self-acknowledgement began in my hometown of Los Angeles and has taken me through two state high school championships, the NCAA Final Four and the Elite Eight, and nine playoffs in 12 NBA seasons.
Now I'm a free agent, literally and figuratively. I've reached that enviable state in life in which I can do pretty much what I want. And what I want is to continue to play basketball. I still love the game, and I still have something to offer. My coaches and teammates recognize that. At the same time, I want to be genuine and authentic and truthful.
Why am I coming out now? Well, I started thinking about this in 2011 during the NBA player lockout. I'm a creature of routine. When the regular season ends I immediately dedicate myself to getting game ready for the opener of the next campaign in the fall. But the lockout wreaked havoc on my habits and forced me to confront who I really am and what I really want. With the season delayed, I trained and worked out. But I lacked the distraction that basketball had always provided.
The first relative I came out to was my aunt Teri, a superior court judge in San Francisco. Her reaction surprised me. "I've known you were gay for years," she said. From that moment on I was comfortable in my own skin. In her presence I ignored my censor button for the first time. She gave me support. The relief I felt was a sweet release. Imagine you're in the oven, baking. Some of us know and accept our sexuality right away and some need more time to cook. I should know - I baked for 33 years.
When I was younger I dated women. I even got engaged. I thought I had to live a certain way. I thought I needed to marry a woman and raise kids with her. I kept telling myself the sky was red, but I always knew it was blue.
I realized I needed to go public when Joe Kennedy, my old roommate at Stanford and now a Massachusetts congressman, told me he had just marched in Boston's 2012 Gay Pride Parade. I'm seldom jealous of others, but hearing what Joe had done filled me with envy. I was proud of him for participating but angry that as a closeted gay man I couldn't even cheer my straight friend on as a spectator. If I'd been questioned, I would have concocted half truths. What a shame to have to lie at a celebration of pride. I want to do the right thing and not hide anymore. I want to march for tolerance, acceptance and understanding. I want to take a stand and say, "Me, too."
The recent Boston Marathon bombing reinforced the notion that I shouldn't wait for the circumstances of my coming out to be perfect. Things can change in an instant, so why not live truthfully? When I told Joe a few weeks ago that I was gay, he was grateful that I trusted him. He asked me to join him in 2013. We'll be marching on June 8...
Jason Collins, Washington Wizards, Sports Illustrated magazine, posted online April 29, 2013.
Click here to continue in Sports Illustrated, issue of May 6, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
France Passes Same-Sex Marriage Law
"Mesdames, Messieurs,
Le Parlement hier a adopté la loi ouvrant le mariage aux couples de même sexe. Cette réforme élargit les droits des homosexuels, sans rien enlever à personne.
Cette réforme va dans le sens de l’évolution de notre société. Je suis sûr qu’elle en sera fière, dans les prochains jours ou plus tard, parce que c’est une étape vers la modernisation de notre pays, vers plus de liberté, plus d’égalité – les principes qui fondent notre République.
Ce débat était long, parfois considéré comme trop long. Je ne le crois pas. Plusieurs mois étaient nécessaires pour entendre toutes les sensibilités. Elles sont respectables : elles méritaient donc d’être respectées.
En revanche, quand les passions dégénèrent en violence, elles doivent être condamnées. L’ordre républicain est d’abord le respect de la liberté de manifester, sûrement ; mais aussi de la liberté pour le Parlement de légiférer.
Aujourd’hui, je demande que ce qui vient de se produire au Parlement soit compris comme étant la loi de la République.
Le Conseil constitutionnel est saisi, il se prononcera sur la conformité du texte aux principes fondamentaux de notre République. Et aussitôt donnée cette décision par le Conseil, je promulguerai la loi qui sera la loi de la République.
D’ici là, je cherche et j’appelle chacun à chercher l’apaisement, c’est-à-dire la compréhension, le respect. Parce que tout maintenant doit être consacré à ce qui est l’essentiel : la réussite économique de notre pays et la cohésion nationale.
C’est donc une réforme qui devait être faite. Non pas simplement parce que c’était un engagement que j’avais pris devant les Français, mais parce que cela correspondait au mouvement irréversible de l’Histoire, que cela donne beaucoup de joie à beaucoup de nos concitoyens qui attendaient ce moment.
Cette réforme pourra, dans quelques jours, quelques semaines, devenir la loi de tous, la loi pour tous.
Mais aujourd’hui plus que jamais, le rassemblement du pays doit se faire sur ce qui est attendu par beaucoup de nos compatriotes : l’emploi, le redressement, la confiance.
Merci."
Le président de la République Francois Hollande, April 24, 2013. Déclaration au sujet de l'adoption par le Parlement de la loi ouvrant le mariage aux couples de même sexe.
Click here to watch video of French President Francois Hollande
Le Parlement hier a adopté la loi ouvrant le mariage aux couples de même sexe. Cette réforme élargit les droits des homosexuels, sans rien enlever à personne.
Cette réforme va dans le sens de l’évolution de notre société. Je suis sûr qu’elle en sera fière, dans les prochains jours ou plus tard, parce que c’est une étape vers la modernisation de notre pays, vers plus de liberté, plus d’égalité – les principes qui fondent notre République.
Ce débat était long, parfois considéré comme trop long. Je ne le crois pas. Plusieurs mois étaient nécessaires pour entendre toutes les sensibilités. Elles sont respectables : elles méritaient donc d’être respectées.
En revanche, quand les passions dégénèrent en violence, elles doivent être condamnées. L’ordre républicain est d’abord le respect de la liberté de manifester, sûrement ; mais aussi de la liberté pour le Parlement de légiférer.
Aujourd’hui, je demande que ce qui vient de se produire au Parlement soit compris comme étant la loi de la République.
Le Conseil constitutionnel est saisi, il se prononcera sur la conformité du texte aux principes fondamentaux de notre République. Et aussitôt donnée cette décision par le Conseil, je promulguerai la loi qui sera la loi de la République.
D’ici là, je cherche et j’appelle chacun à chercher l’apaisement, c’est-à-dire la compréhension, le respect. Parce que tout maintenant doit être consacré à ce qui est l’essentiel : la réussite économique de notre pays et la cohésion nationale.
C’est donc une réforme qui devait être faite. Non pas simplement parce que c’était un engagement que j’avais pris devant les Français, mais parce que cela correspondait au mouvement irréversible de l’Histoire, que cela donne beaucoup de joie à beaucoup de nos concitoyens qui attendaient ce moment.
Cette réforme pourra, dans quelques jours, quelques semaines, devenir la loi de tous, la loi pour tous.
Mais aujourd’hui plus que jamais, le rassemblement du pays doit se faire sur ce qui est attendu par beaucoup de nos compatriotes : l’emploi, le redressement, la confiance.
Merci."
Le président de la République Francois Hollande, April 24, 2013. Déclaration au sujet de l'adoption par le Parlement de la loi ouvrant le mariage aux couples de même sexe.
Click here to watch video of French President Francois Hollande
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
Hillary Clinton Supports LGBT Equality
Former First Lady and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham
Clinton has joined the Human Rights Campaign in their public campaign for
marriage equality. Her videotaped statement supporting LGBT equal rights and marriage equality has been released as part of HRC's Americans for Marriage Equality series. Click here to view the video at HRC's website.
Bill Clinton Supports DOMA Repeal
"In 1996, I signed the Defense of Marriage Act. Although that was only 17 years ago, it was a very different time. In no state in the union was same-sex marriage recognized, much less available as a legal right, but some were moving in that direction. Washington, as a result, was swirling with all manner of possible responses, some quite draconian. As a bipartisan group of former senators stated in their March 1 amicus brief to the Supreme Court, many supporters of the bill known as DOMA believed that its passage “would defuse a movement to enact a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, which would have ended the debate for a generation or more.” It was under these circumstances that DOMA came to my desk, opposed by only 81 of the 535 members of Congress.
On March 27, DOMA will come before the Supreme Court, and the justices must decide whether it is consistent with the principles of a nation that honors freedom, equality and justice above all, and is therefore constitutional. As the president who signed the act into law, I have come to believe that DOMA is contrary to those principles and, in fact, incompatible with our Constitution.
Countries where same-sex marriage is legal: While the United States continues to debate the legality of same-sex marriage, some countries have had laws legalizing gay marriage for more than a decade.
Because Section 3 of the act defines marriage as being between a man and a woman, same-sex couples who are legally married in nine states and the District of Columbia are denied the benefits of more than a thousand federal statutes and programs available to other married couples. Among other things, these couples cannot file their taxes jointly, take unpaid leave to care for a sick or injured spouse, or receive equal family health and pension benefits as federal civilian employees. Yet they pay taxes, contribute to their communities and, like all couples, aspire to live in committed, loving relationships, recognized and respected by our laws.
When I signed the bill, I included a statement with the admonition that “enactment of this legislation should not, despite the fierce and at times divisive rhetoric surrounding it, be understood to provide an excuse for discrimination.” Reading those words today, I know now that, even worse than providing an excuse for discrimination, the law is itself discriminatory. It should be overturned.
We are still a young country, and many of our landmark civil rights decisions are fresh enough that the voices of their champions still echo, even as the world that preceded them becomes less and less familiar. We have yet to celebrate the centennial of the 19th Amendment, but a society that denied women the vote would seem to us now not unusual or old-fashioned but alien. I believe that in 2013 DOMA and opposition to marriage equality are vestiges of just such an unfamiliar society.
Americans have been at this sort of a crossroads often enough to recognize the right path. We understand that, while our laws may at times lag behind our best natures, in the end they catch up to our core values. One hundred fifty years ago, in the midst of the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln concluded a message to Congress by posing the very question we face today: “It is not ‘Can any of us imagine better?’ but ‘Can we all do better?’ ”
The answer is of course and always yes. In that spirit, I join with the Obama administration, the petitioner Edith Windsor, and the many other dedicated men and women who have engaged in this struggle for decades in urging the Supreme Court to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act."
President Bill Clinton, published in the Washington Post, March 7, 2013.
On March 27, DOMA will come before the Supreme Court, and the justices must decide whether it is consistent with the principles of a nation that honors freedom, equality and justice above all, and is therefore constitutional. As the president who signed the act into law, I have come to believe that DOMA is contrary to those principles and, in fact, incompatible with our Constitution.
Countries where same-sex marriage is legal: While the United States continues to debate the legality of same-sex marriage, some countries have had laws legalizing gay marriage for more than a decade.
Because Section 3 of the act defines marriage as being between a man and a woman, same-sex couples who are legally married in nine states and the District of Columbia are denied the benefits of more than a thousand federal statutes and programs available to other married couples. Among other things, these couples cannot file their taxes jointly, take unpaid leave to care for a sick or injured spouse, or receive equal family health and pension benefits as federal civilian employees. Yet they pay taxes, contribute to their communities and, like all couples, aspire to live in committed, loving relationships, recognized and respected by our laws.
When I signed the bill, I included a statement with the admonition that “enactment of this legislation should not, despite the fierce and at times divisive rhetoric surrounding it, be understood to provide an excuse for discrimination.” Reading those words today, I know now that, even worse than providing an excuse for discrimination, the law is itself discriminatory. It should be overturned.
We are still a young country, and many of our landmark civil rights decisions are fresh enough that the voices of their champions still echo, even as the world that preceded them becomes less and less familiar. We have yet to celebrate the centennial of the 19th Amendment, but a society that denied women the vote would seem to us now not unusual or old-fashioned but alien. I believe that in 2013 DOMA and opposition to marriage equality are vestiges of just such an unfamiliar society.
Americans have been at this sort of a crossroads often enough to recognize the right path. We understand that, while our laws may at times lag behind our best natures, in the end they catch up to our core values. One hundred fifty years ago, in the midst of the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln concluded a message to Congress by posing the very question we face today: “It is not ‘Can any of us imagine better?’ but ‘Can we all do better?’ ”
The answer is of course and always yes. In that spirit, I join with the Obama administration, the petitioner Edith Windsor, and the many other dedicated men and women who have engaged in this struggle for decades in urging the Supreme Court to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act."
President Bill Clinton, published in the Washington Post, March 7, 2013.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Attorney General Files Prop 8 Brief with Supreme Court
“In our filing today in Hollingsworth v. Perry, the government seeks to vindicate the defining constitutional ideal of equal treatment under the law. Throughout history, we have seen the unjust consequences of
decisions and policies rooted in discrimination. The issues before the
Supreme Court in this case and the Defense of Marriage Act case are not
just important to the tens of thousands of Americans who are being
denied equal benefits and rights under our laws, but to our Nation as a
whole.”
Attorney General Eric Holder on U.S. Government’s filing in Hollingsworth v. Perry [Prop 8 case], February 28, 2013.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Pentagon Expands Partner Benefits
"Seventeen months ago, the United States military ended the policy of ‘Don't Ask, Don't Tell.’ We have implemented the repeal of that policy and made clear that discrimination based on sexual orientation has no place in the Department of Defense.
"At the time of repeal, I committed to reviewing benefits that had not previously been available to same-sex partners based on existing law and policy. It is a matter of fundamental equity that we provide similar benefits to all of those men and women in uniform who serve their country. The department already provides a group of benefits that are member-designated. Today, I am pleased to announce that after a thorough and deliberate review, the department will extend additional benefits to same-sex partners of service members.
"Taking care of our service members and honoring the sacrifices of all military families are two core values of this nation. Extending these benefits is an appropriate next step under current law to ensure that all service members receive equal support for what they do to protect this nation.
"One of the legal limitations to providing all benefits at this time is the Defense of Marriage Act, which is still the law of the land. There are certain benefits that can only be provided to spouses as defined by that law, which is now being reviewed by the United States Supreme Court. While it will not change during my tenure as secretary of defense, I foresee a time when the law will allow the department to grant full benefits to service members and their dependents, irrespective of sexual orientation. Until then, the department will continue to comply with current law while doing all we can to take care of all soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines, and their families.
"While the implementation of additional benefits will require substantial policy revisions and training, it is my expectation that these benefits will be made available as expeditiously as possible. One of the great successes at the Department of Defense has been the implementation of DADT repeal. It has been highly professional and has strengthened our military community. I am confident in the military services' ability to effectively implement these changes over the coming months."
Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta, February 11, 2013; extending benefits to same-sex partners of service members.
"At the time of repeal, I committed to reviewing benefits that had not previously been available to same-sex partners based on existing law and policy. It is a matter of fundamental equity that we provide similar benefits to all of those men and women in uniform who serve their country. The department already provides a group of benefits that are member-designated. Today, I am pleased to announce that after a thorough and deliberate review, the department will extend additional benefits to same-sex partners of service members.
"Taking care of our service members and honoring the sacrifices of all military families are two core values of this nation. Extending these benefits is an appropriate next step under current law to ensure that all service members receive equal support for what they do to protect this nation.
"One of the legal limitations to providing all benefits at this time is the Defense of Marriage Act, which is still the law of the land. There are certain benefits that can only be provided to spouses as defined by that law, which is now being reviewed by the United States Supreme Court. While it will not change during my tenure as secretary of defense, I foresee a time when the law will allow the department to grant full benefits to service members and their dependents, irrespective of sexual orientation. Until then, the department will continue to comply with current law while doing all we can to take care of all soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines, and their families.
"While the implementation of additional benefits will require substantial policy revisions and training, it is my expectation that these benefits will be made available as expeditiously as possible. One of the great successes at the Department of Defense has been the implementation of DADT repeal. It has been highly professional and has strengthened our military community. I am confident in the military services' ability to effectively implement these changes over the coming months."
Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta, February 11, 2013; extending benefits to same-sex partners of service members.
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